Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
