She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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