Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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