You made me cry and you don't even care
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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