Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize