I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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