it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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