After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
