You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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