The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize
