You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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