no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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