i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Randomize
