I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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