She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
