I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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