So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
