i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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