i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Randomize
