I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
