i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
