And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
