It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
