I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Randomize
