I wish I could punch you in the face.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Randomize
