I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Randomize
