I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
