i need an iv and a liver transplant
they need to just BURY HIM!
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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