I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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