I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
