that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
