i permit you to call me
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Randomize
