Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I need to calm my uterus...
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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