Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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