Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Couch. On fire.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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