I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
