Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
should my penis look like a turkey
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
