he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Randomize
