My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
