Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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