Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
