On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
