And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
