And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
