i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
