Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
