Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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