my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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