I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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