Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Randomize
