I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
