You can't motorboat a personality
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Hello my rib-scented angel!
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
