she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
How's work?
Spinning.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize