I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
