im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
