it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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