last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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