i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
my being single is dangerous.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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